Love your Life not Hers


How to love your life not hers: The Comparison Trap.

People are obsessed with other people’s lives. We’re constantly on the outside looking in. And the internet has made this all too easy. Thanks to social media, we know where are loved ones and idols went on their holiday, what they wore and even what they had for breakfast! It’s an amazing way to keep up to date on the lives of your loved ones but sometimes, it’s just too much.

We live in a time where we spend more time with our phones than our boyfriends. Now don’t get me wrong I love social media and know it brings so much inspiration and positivity, however I have also seen it bring anxiety and jealousy.

A little something that has been on my mind recently is the comparison trap that we can all so easily fall into thanks to social media. We lust after others clothes, cars, lives, holidays…thinking to ourselves that what we have is not good enough. Who we are is not good enough.

The Comparison Trap.

I don’t know about you, but I often find myself in the comparison trap, which I think is greatly due to social media.

What is the comparison trap?

The comparison trap is simply where you compare yourself to others. Whether you’re comparing your looks, achievements, financial situation or possessions to those around you, it’s a definite way to end up feeling pretty crappy.

I feel like we need to put a stop to this. Instead start to love your life, not hers. So how do we do it?

Comparison. Never compare. I know it’s so much easier said than done but comparison really is the thief of joy and gratefulness. There is always going to be someone in life who makes you feel like you’re not good enough. And there will always be someone who is a step ahead. I understand that many people on social media only show the best parts of their life, or, the most filtered parts.

I try to remind myself that what I see on social media is not real life but rather it is other people’s best moments.  I am absolutely guilty of it too I mean who wants to see pictures of burnt food or me looking a mess. LOL.

If you measure yourself against only the best parts of someone’s life, you’re always going to feel like inadequate.

Everyone is different and unique in their own way. Instead of comparing, congratulate and celebrate other’s success.  If you see someone’s new Chanel bag on insta instead of feeling jealous that you don’t have it, feel happy for that person. You do not know how hard they may have worked to get it.

Unfollow. Unfollow accounts on social media that make you feel unhappy, guilty, negative in any way about what you eat, do, or your life. If someone’s posts are causing you to feel bad about yourself, how you look or where you are in life. Do yourself a favor and just unfollow!

Take a break. Take time away from social media to live your life and enjoy the moment. This is hard for me as I do this for a living. But whenever it gets too much I do a little digital detox, to be present and spend time with real people rather than just looking at what others are doing online. I always feel so much better after.

Choose what you see. Follow accounts that give you motivation, inspiration, make you feel good and positive. The ones that motivate you to achieve your goals.  Find some that really inspire you without making you feel bad about yourself.

Celebrate difference. Flowers are beautiful, roses and lily’s are my favourite. Both are beautiful and they look nothing alike! Just because you look different or have different skills to the person you look up to, doesn’t mean you’re not as good as them. You can admire someone else’s beauty, blessings or intelligence without questioning your own. None of us are any better or worse than anybody else, just different.

Practice gratitude. When you compare yourself to others, you tend to forget of all the good things you have in your own life. But by practicing gratitude daily, you can become more appreciative of who you are, what you have and what you’ve achieved.

I would like to remind you that media is what people want you to perceive. It’s an edit, the best version of someone’s life. Sometimes, when I am enjoying a moment so much I often don’t post it, then before I know I’ve finished my food before I could take a picture and I wanted to enjoy the moment with those in it, rather then share it with the world. When you are truly loving something  you don’t always need to share it, it can just be for you.

The internet is something that is too easy to get lost in, spending all night scrolling. Instead spend your time on things that fill you up, if you love photography why not take a class and meet like minded people. Fill your life up with love and you will fall back in love with it!

I think we have all been guilty of endless scrolling where you start on a friend’s profile and somehow end up on their second cousin’s sister’s ex boyfriends profile an hour later. Or, you’ve scrolled through photos of toned, fit, tanned Instagram models and find yourself regretting the weekend binge you ate earlier. Not only is this an unproductive and unfulfilling use of time, it can also lead you straight into a comparison trap.

What I’m wearing ❤
Zara Pink Biker Jacket – Sold out similar  similar
Nakd Knitted Dress – here
ASOS Ankle boots – here
ASOS Shoulder Bag- old similar

 Do you fall into the comparison trap sometimes? Do you take any steps to make sure it doesn’t impact you negatively? 

I hope you enjoyed this post and found it useful. Follow me on Social Media to stay updated ❤

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Love Hayley X