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211 + Succulent Puns and Jokes That Don’t Succ

Aloe there! Are you looking for succulent puns?


There’s something about a succulent plant that I just can’t resist. There is no way I’m walking past a succulent without bringing it home and adding it to my plant collection.


Due to their low-maintenance nature and diverse range of shapes, sizes, and colors, succulents stand out as one of the most favored indoor plants and even make a perfect gift. If you have a love for plants, you’re bound to appreciate these witty succulent puns.


If you love succulents as much as I do, then here’s some succulent puns to put a smile on your face.


Whether you have made a new succulent purchase that you want to share on social media or maybe you are looking for succulent-themed pick-up lines. Here are the best succulent puns for the fellow plant lover.


Sometimes it’s the little things that put the biggest smiles on our faces!


If you have green thumbs than you may also love these flower puns,  Fruit Puns, and Vegetable Puns.


Succulent Puns

If you are a proud plant mom or dad then these funny plant puns are for you.

  • For sucs sake!
  • I’m a succa for you.
  • What’s up, Succa?
  • You’re plant-tastic!
  • I’m a succa for you!
  • You grow, girl!
  • Thirsty AF!
  • Life succs
  • Can’t succ this!
  • What the fucculent!
  • You’re a succ-cess!
  • Be-leaf in yourself!
  • I wet my plants.
  • Water me motha succa!

Cactus Puns

  • Don’t be a prick.
  • Free Hugs
  • I see your point.
  • I tried to think of a great cactus joke for your birthday, but I guess I’m just not that sharp.
  • You prickle my fancy
  •  I’m not sure a bouquet of cacti is the most prick-tical choice.
  •  Looking sharp.
  • I love the garden center, plants as a far as the cacti can see!
  • I love plants, but I’d like to get a pet. I’m considering getting a cat-cus!
  • Don’t prick that one!

  • You prickle my pansy!
  • Cacti are the only pricks worth dealing with.
  • Can’t touch this!
  • Actions spike louder than words.
  • It’s time to put all that hard work into cactus!
  • Best friends stick together.
  • Cactus what you preach.
  • Stand tall and look sharp.
  • In a world of delicate flowers be a cactus
  • What do goes well in a cactus sandwich? Cheese and prickle!
  • Hmm, it would seem I’m stuck in a bit of a prickle.

  • it’s not all cactus to be.
  • Pretty fly for a cacti.
  • I hope your day is on point!
  • Cacti + cactyou = cactus!
  • Why are you so thorny?
  • Please stick around.
  • You’ve got a point.
  • Looking sharp today.
  • Cactus makes perfect.
  • Let’s stick together.
  •  Oh no what a cac-tastrophe!
  • To be honest, it’s not all its cactus up to be!
  • It’s a cactustrophe!
  • I see your point
  • I’m almost certain there is something wrong with my cactus, but I just can’t put my finger on it!
  • They are a prickly pear.
  • I’m just here, pricking up the pieces!
  • I am super friendly, I can just be a little prickly at times.
  • I’ll never desert you
  • Look, I love succulents, I guess you could call me a crazy cat-cti lady!
  • You’re so prickly when you wake up.
  • It’s just not worth it to argue with a cactus… they have too many great points!

Aloe Vere Puns

If you love aloe vera plants then these clever puns are for you.

  •  Say aloe to my little friend!
  • Aloe you Vera much!
  • Aloe-lujah.
  • I love my aloe time!
  • You had me at ALOE!
  • I’m vera awkward.
  • Aloe? Is it me you’re looking for?
  • Aloe from the other side.
  • Aloe! Is it me you’re looking for?
  • Aloe can you go?
  • Aloe you to the moon and back.
  • Aloe darkness my old friend.
  • Aloe from the other side.
  • Aloe! Are you looking for me?
  • Aloe in there.
  • My aloe had to go to the doctor, they were feeling a little green!
  • Please leaf me aloe.
  • Hang in there I’m rooting for you!
  • Aloe ways love you.
  • Aloe in there.
  • Grow with the flow.
  • Someone has taken my succulent plant, I think it was a bit of aloe move to be honest!

More Succulent Puns

More hilarious succulent puns that don’t succ.

  • Leaf me alone.
  • Succ it up.
  •  I just need to tell you, you are suc-cute-lent!
  • Plant one on me!
  • Succ Yeah!
  • Succ it up Buttercup.
  • Live life in full bloom.
  • Succulent Lover
  •  I don’t give a fucculent.
  • Succulents are plant-tastic
  • Succulent Love
  • My succulent is growing really fast, don’t be gel!
  • I don’t give a succulent.
  • Thorn down for what
  • I just love my plants, I think they are so-cculent.
  • Grow with the flow.
  • What’s, up, Succa?
  • I wasn’t too sure about succulents, but you know what, they really grew on me!
  • Home is where the succulents are.
  • I think you are going to be a very succ-sessful gardener!
  • I would offer you a succulent or two, but I haven’t botany!

Funny Succulent Puns

These succulent puns will make a great instagram caption.

  • Have you botany succulents lately?
  • Chicks before pricks!
  • Be nice or leaf.
  • Pot it like it’s hot.
  • That’s blooming fantastic!
  • They see me growing, they hating!
  • I’m a succa for puns
  • You are now entering the seedy part of town.
  • Life would succ without you.
  • We have a thorny problem.
  • It’s a thorny issue.
  • Aww succs.
  • I’m no cactus expert, but I do know a prick when I see one.
  • I’m always rooting for you!
  • Sometimes I wet my plants.
  • Garden hoe!
  • I have a sucky attitude.
  • Ya dig?
  • Crazy cat lady-NO, crazy plant lady

Succulent Instagram Captions

Use one of these to create the best succulent caption

  • If you take a selfie with your succulents, is it called a face plant?
  • Home is where the succulents are.
  • I wet my plants.
  • I might like plants more than people.a
  • I guess I’m a plant mom now.
  • Planting this beauty on my feed.
  • I’m now taking name suggestions for my new succulent.
  • Just wanted to say aloe.
  • Here’s hoping that your day doesn’t succ.
  • Keep going, keep growing.
  • I like to take long walks down the succulent aisle.
  • I did not choose plant life. The plant life chose me.
  • Slowly turning my kitchen into a succulent-filled desert.
  • Succulent lady is the new cat lady.
  • Have I just bought too many succulents?! Well I guess I succ at shopping.
  • I’m just here, pricking up the pieces!
  • Imagine if you could take every single one of these succulents home.
  • Another day, another succulent purchase.
  • Welcome to the succulent jungle.

  • You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy more succulents and that’s pretty much the same thing!
  • You’re a sucCUTElent.
  • TBH, I think there’s still room in here for more succulents.
  • Tiny succulent alert!
  • I prick you to be my valentine.
  • I found my happy place. It’s filled with succulents.
  • I’m a succa for succulents!
  • Best friends always stick together, just like succulents.
  • Pot it like it’s hot.
  • Life is like a succulent, full of pricks, but incredibly beautiful.
  • I might like plants more than people.
  • My cactus puns are succulent.
  • I promise I’ll never forget to water you.
  • You have too many succulents,’ said no one ever.
  • Go wherever the succulents are.
  • Just another succulent appreciation post.
  • Not dead yet succa.
  • You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy more succulents and that’s pretty much the same thing!

Succulent Jokes


Plant jokes that do not succ!

  • Aloe how are you? “Long thyme no see”
  • What did one plant lady say to the other “botany plants lately?”
  • How to succulents express their feelings? Aloe you vera much

Cactus Jokes

  • What did the boy cactus say to the girl cactus on their plant date? I’d prick you.
  • What did the cactus say to the other cactus? “Looking sharp”
  • What did the cactus say when he was running away? “Cactus is you can”
  • What job should a cactus never do at a birthday party? “Blow up balloons”
  • I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed because I thought: Damn I am less nurturing than a desert.
  • I tried grilled cactus at a restaurant today. It was succulent

Wonderful Succulent Quotes

Some funny succulent quotes.

  • “To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.” – Audrey Hepburn
  • “The trees were in leaf and every plant was blooming, except for the cacti which were being stubbornly prickly.” – From God: The Ultimate Autobiography
  • “Take the rose, most people think it very beautiful: I don’t care for It at all. I prefer the cactus, for the simple reason that it has a more interesting personality. It has wonderfully adapted itself to its surroundings! It is the best illustration of the theory of evolution in plant life.” – Charles Proteus Steinmetz
  • “Cactus classification is similar to fashion on women skirts: They first shorten improperly, and then lengthen excessively.” – C. Glass and R. Foster
  • “Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is like hugging a cactus. The tighter you hold on, the more it’s going to hurt.” – Unknown
  • “Hope is not a resting place but a starting point – a cactus, not a cushion.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
  • “Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don’t have to sit on it.” – Joyce Meyer
  • “Every cactus blooms, some with little rooms, some give flowers that grow, others so small it won’t show!” – Ana Claudia Antunes
  • “The cactus thrives in the desert while the fern thrives in the wetland. The fool will try to plant them in the same flowerbox.” – Vera Nazarian
  • “Deserts are very dry places, but plants can still grow there. Desert plants collect and use water in special ways.” – Julie Penn

What should I name my succulent plant?

You should name your succulent plant :

  • Elvis Parsley
  • Robert Brault
  • Keanu Leaves
  • Sharpie
  • Orlando Bloom
  • Megan Thee Succulent 
  • Cactus Everdeen
  • Tree Diddy
  • Aloe Vera Wang
  • Vincent Van Grow 
  • Pointy
  • Bella Thorn
  • Needles
  • Aloexander
  • Mr. Prickles
  • Spike
  • Sir Stabbington

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So there are the best succulent puns. If you love these low-maintenance plants and have a big succulent collection then try a cute succulent pun to put a smile on your face.